Chapter 5: Communication Keys: How to Listen and Speak
This instruction includes typing, when communicating via texts or emails.
Yes, we can LISTEN in spoken communications and in written communications.
Awaiting “the timing” of our response…in order to really listen to the one speaking… is the take-away from this instruction.
Interjection and Interruption needs to be guarded against! These greatly affect a conversation… and determine whether communications will go in a good direction or a bad one. This instruction is “a biggie”… at least it was for me.
I was once rebuked by a dear friend in this regard. She informed me that when I get excited, I interrupt her… and that she found that rude… and it hurt her… making her feel that what she was saying didn’t matter to me.
I’m glad we were close enough friends for such blatant honesty in the given rebuke. I was familiar with Proverbs 27:5-6 which says, “Open rebuke is better than love carefully concealed. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” So, I received the rebuke without offense or defense.
Scripture proved true, my friends! I didn’t even know I was doing that interjecting and interrupting! I didn’t mean to communicate in such a way! And, I didn’t realize until the rebuke that I didn’t have the best listening skills. After the rebuke, I came to realize that if someone talked slow, then I’d want to respond before they’d finish, or complete their sentences for them too. I became alert to my own “issue” in communications. I also noticed it when others spoke with me. I am way better now at not interrupting, and listening until God says it’s ok to speak. Indeed, light removes darkness! Just having issues “exposed” can cause them to gradually depart from our communications.
I had heard that women talk more than men because we literally process as we speak; however, in marrying Leonard, I discovered talking a lot is not gender specific. Now I hardly ever talk, and he does most all the talking! (Oh the wisdom of God! Those that know Leonard know I speak truth! ha-ha!… I’m either talked out… or God just gave me a taste of my own medicine. ha-ha!)
Seriously, Listening – Until I am Prompted to Speak is the reason. I took this instruction here, to heart, before my marriage, and God is just not prompting me to speak. He is keeping my tongue. I have been bridled. No regrets here about that. (smile)
I’ve noticed this in all my communications… church relationships too. I’m more a listener now, when I used to be a talker. Amazing how the Holy Spirit works in us, when we heed His instructions. I kind of like “being quieter” now. And it is better to be responsive than reactive.
I do remember that Leonard was wise enough, at the beginning of our relationship, to address my few times interrupting him with saying, “Hey, let me finish my thought…” He’d say it with a smile, yet in frustration… so his kind rebukes changed My Listening too. God works in many ways.
I’m sure the reason that God gave this key to us all… even though I use myself as an example… is so that all our relationships can improve. Maybe you’ll be the one to tell someone to “not interrupt you”, kindly; or maybe you’ll be the one LISTENING without speaking. Either way, my prayer is that communications will be greatly improved within marriages, friendships, families, churches, and all other relationships.